Coping With No Closure

Closure is an important thing. I think most therapists would agree. It's really hard to accept and move on from a situation when there is no closure. I've learned that the hard way throughout my life. Every single day of my life I wish I could have some type of closure with my real family. When M and D adopted me, that was that. I never went and said goodbye, I never went and collected any of my stuff, it was just done, like they had never existed. Why didn't I question that? Why didn't I request a visit? I honestly don't know. When I look back to those first months of being adopted, it's like a total blackout. Like I don't remember anything. I do this thing where it's like I almost leave my body when things are too much for me to handle emotionally.
I never got to tell my grandparents how much I loved them, and how they were such a bright spot in my childhood. They made me feel loved and special which I so desperately needed. They were the yin to my birth mom's yang.
I'll also never have closure with my adoptive parents because they are completely incapable of admitting any flaws, or wrongdoing. I've actually always known this about them, because I've seen it in other situations with other people. They are both really, really good at pointing out other peoples flaws, and they're excellent at judging people. Somehow, their flaws are just filed under  "I know I'm not perfect but Jesus" while other people need to fucking figure it out and make the changes that they feel need to happen. They also lack the ability to see anything from anyone else's perspective. I know that for years they have both argued that the other is too controlling. Like I'm talking huge blowout arguments, the kind that shake a house. Yet, neither one has ever even contemplated if there is any truth to what the other is saying. From my perspective I can say with 100 percent certainty that they are both uber controlling.
I was surprised when I moved back to Erie to see them arguing in the same way and over the same things. They're both therapists, so you'd think it wouldn't be too hard to look within yourself.
I'm saying all of this to say that I will never have closure with them, they will never understand where I'm coming from. All they know is that I am wrong. I am a sinner because I don't believe, therefore I am condemned to a life in hell, and I am a cold, vile person for not thinking they saved me and that they are awesome and amazing. My feelings and thoughts will not only never be accepted, but they won't even be heard or entertained for a second. It's a hard thing to deal with. I'm trying to figure out what to do with my feelings and thoughts. I know I have to let them go, but it's just so frustrating. I feel like since I can't express how I feel to them, it's just simmering inside me like a disease. I've been doing guided meditation focusing on letting go, and it is helping, but I just know I have a long road ahead of me.