To Therapy or Not?

It's been awhile since I've posted anything on here. It's kind of nice to feel no real pressure. I think of this as my diary. I just pop on here when I have something I'm feeling or need to say, and I have no one to say it to. I've been battling depression, and it's making life difficult. I was flirting with the idea of therapy, even made some calls to find a therapist who works on a sliding scale/fee. Not an easy thing to find. There are three offices here that offer sliding scales, and they all have waiting lists. Now, I'm rethinking therapy. I have so many horror stories of therapy. And I met my adoptive parents through therapy. My "mom" was my therapist at one point. She has helped me make some decisions in my life that I deeply regret, and have and continue to cause me a lot of pain. One of those decisions was to be adopted by them. I don't know what I was thinking. But that's always been a weakness of mine, I don't look at how decisions I make now might affect my future. But she was the adult, and the therapist so that should have been her job. So, it's hard for me to imagine sitting in a therapist's office spilling all my inner most feelings. And no amount of therapy will bring me any kind of family, or family closeness. The fact is that I am alone in this world. I mean, I have my cats, and I know I have a scant few people I could call a friend, but I don't have any family. I don't have a childhood home, or my old bedroom to go to escape, or get the warm and fuzzies. I don't have anyone to talk to about my childhood memories. Sometimes I wonder if they're even real, or did I make them up in my head?
Having just gone through a rather traumatic experience, I feel like having a loving family member to talk to and seek comfort would be really helpful.
Therapy also won't help me break out of the minimum wage rut. That's another thing that makes me sad and also angry, and more recently deeply ashamed. I know that therapy can help you find ways to solve what is troubling you, or at least learn how to accept, see the positive, blah blah blah. But between my own feelings of doubt, and the trouble I've had finding someone, I feel like therapy is just not what I need. It's like I've gotten to the point in life where I have to pay someone to care enough to listen to me. And that makes me more depressed than anything.