Yesterday I did something I rarely do. I took a good hard look at myself in the mirror. Like I'm talking my midsection. I'm starting to see signs of some definition! I'm sure it's been there for some time, just underneath the beer blab. I still have a long way to go, but something is happening, changes are being made! What made me happy was less about looking good, and more about seeing that I am on the right path, and I am doing the right thing. For the longest time it felt like nothing was happening with my body, even after cleaning up my diet, increasing exercise and all that. It made it easy to feel tempted to go back to smoking and drinking my problems away. When I was having a bad day, that little voice would creep into my head saying things like"why not have some beer, you're not losing weight without it" And it was sometimes very hard to argue with that voice, because it was true. There are so many weight loss shows where people are dropping weight like mad, or even people online swear by this that or the other, and often make it seem as if it's just super simple. It takes a lot of patience, A LOT. I'm not looking to be super lean, or to have a six pack or anything like that. I just want to be healthy, and I want to feel like I completely let go of the past.
I feel like all these things I keep making myself do, walking a hill, meditate, go on a ten day potato cleanse, are all working together, and it feels so great. It feels so great to have stuck with these things. I am not the world's most patient person, and I also have a healthy fear of commitment, so this is all new to me. I'm writing this post not only for myself, but in case anyone ever reads this is struggling with making any kind of change, it can be done. I know it's one of the hardest, scariest things you can ever do, and change doesn't come overnight, you will have good and very bad days, but it can happen, and it's amazing. it's amazing to know that you did that. When I see that little muscle definition starting to sprout up, I know that I did that. No one else did that for me.
And change can be hard because not everyone around you will always support you. I think lack of support and encouragement is one of the biggest roadblocks standing in changes way. But I swear the feeling of accomplishing something is better than anything I've ever experienced in my life.
Happy Sunday!
Being able to see some sort of physical change can be exciting, because if you feel better, it can feel like it is just in your head, you know? But I think I hate the Biggest Looser because it shows rapid change, and then everyone messes up their body and gains all the weight back. It is totally a slow change that gets the best results.
ReplyDeleteI agree. I'm realizing that slow and steady really does win the race. When I started seeing progress in my body at the same time I was doing the potato cleanse, I started getting some old disordered thoughts. I'm glad I came back to my senses.
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