Last night something weird happened. I was woken up around ten thirty or so by the fir alarm going off in my building. Instead of it being scary, I was pissed right away, because ever since I have lived in this apartment, the fire alarm going off is a normal thing. I don't know if it's because a lot of college students live here, (I live right next to a community college) but the hallways always smell like burnt toast or burnt grilled cheese whenever it's going off. Anyway, this happens at least once a month, sometimes several times a month. My poor cats are in hell because of the sound, and once I realized it was another false alarm, those old feelings of irritation stated creeping in. I was working myself into a whole negative head space, when it dawned on me that I am so fortunate that it wasn't a real fire. And also, I am fortunate to live in a building with working fire alarms. As soon as I turned my thinking around, the fire men showed up, turned the alarm off, and all was quiet again. I was able to pet my kitties and assure them it was okay, and lay down and fall right back asleep. That wouldn't have happened if I would have allowed myself to keep feeling pissed. It was easier than I ever thought. I used to imagine thinking positive was a lot of work, or that it was easier for people who already have it pretty easy. It's funny the way we hold ourselves back.
I feel like I'm finally pulling myself out of this rut that I've been in for so many years, and it feels so amazing. So, this was yet another post written to myself to remind myself to stay on this journey. You're doing something right.
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