These Three Things

I still have a very long way to go on my journey to health and inner happiness and peace, but I also have come a long way from where I was. The things I've done to myself and the abuse I've put myself through is pretty scary to me. Sometimes I come across people who are stuck in similar unhealthy patterns as I used to be, and I just feel so grateful I was able to grab on to that desire to change. Some people never do.That has always been one of my biggest fears in life. To become one of those super bitter people who has nothing nice, and everything nasty to say about everything and everyone. An energy vampire. I always feel like why bother once you get to that point. I've tried all kinds of things to help me on my journey. Many have not stuck, but some have. I just wanted to talk about three things I've been doing, one for awhile two are newer additions to my routine, but all three are really working together, and I can feel it.
The first is working out. I have been doing yoga for years, and for the longest time yoga and walking to and from wherever I go were my main workouts. For about the past year or so I've been doing all sorts of workouts, including a lot more cardio. I workout at home, so my living room and YouTube are my gym and trainer. There are so many different workouts on YouTube, I never get bored. I feel not only physically stronger, but sharper mentally. I don't do anything too crazy, a lot of the cardio I do is low impact, but I flirt with a few HIIT workouts here and there. I just feel better after doing them. I feel stronger, and I like that I naturally focus on how good I feel, not so much what it's doing for my body, looks-wise. Yoga is still my favorite, I do it 3to 4 times a week, and other things the other days. It's really been working out for me. Ouch, I had to I'm sorry!
The second is meditating. I only do it for five minutes a day and it has made a difference that surprises me constantly. I feel a natural gratitude now for things that I used to take for granted, and I'm able to shake things off so much easier than I used to. I honestly never thought meditation would work for me. I never thought you could get the benefit even if you have trouble keeping your mind clear. I struggle so hard, some days my mind never clears for the whole meditation! But yet stuff is happening. The biggest surprise to me is that I am becoming more patient, even with myself! I was doing a thirty day meditation challenge, then decided to do another thirty, but to be honest I think it's just going to be a part of my life. I am a believer for sure.
The third thing I've been doing that has made a huge positive impact on my life is making myself walk up that hill. It's so much less about the actual walk, and more about making myself stick with my commitment to myself. I feel so damn proud of myself when I trudge out there in the rain, when I really, really don't want to. It's the best feeling in the world. Especially because I'm doing it just for me. No one told me to, no one is keeping track, it's just for me. I have cried when I'm walking, I've laughed, I just feel like it is an important part of my journey.
I'm learning that you have to commit to yourself. A very long time I go I saw a clip of the Oprah show, and she said that often times we make and keep our promises to other people, we feel bad when we break promises to others, but we break promises to ourselves all the time without a second thought. That really hit home with me, and I want to break that pattern within myself.