There are a million quotes about how we allow people to treat us. I think I first heard Oprah say "people treat us like we allow them to treat us." I was in a bad place in my life, in a different toxic relationship. I wasn't in a place to really accept that, and make changes in my life to demand better treatment. It's kind of hard to demand others treat you well when you are shitting all over yourself worse than anyone else ever could. I used to think expressions like that were for other people. People who were worthy of being treated well. Up until recently, I didn't know it was possible for me to feel worthy of respect.
Back when I was smoking cigarettes and drinking alcohol every day, my body was very used to those toxins, and it didn't notice that I felt like crap. Crap was the normal. Since cutting those things out of my life, my body is now as toxin free as possible for me. The few times I have slipped for whatever reason and partaken in either or both of those habits, my body immediately feels invaded by poison. I can't believe I ever allowed my body to be that polluted. My body now rejects toxins, and craves health and self love.
I now feel the same way about relationships. I don't want to spend time or energy on people who make me feel bad. I have given enough of my life to people and things who make me feel bad, and try to steal my Joy. Life is hard, and there are so many challenges, and so much sadness that Joy can sometimes be hard to come by, so how dare someone try to steal it!
I'm just starting to learn that loving yourself is sometimes hard work, as is any relationship. It seems easier sometimes to just go with the flow, and not make waves, or make too many demands. But if we don't act on our own behalf, who will?
Now that I have become healthier both inside and out, just like my body no longer accepts cigarettes, I can no longer accept people who make me feel bad, or situations that make me feel bad. Life is too short. The time we give to toxic people, places and things is time we will NEVER get back.
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