Saturday, March 19, 2016

I Heart the Library!

I found this book at the library the other day, and I thought it seemed very helpful. I was taking free writing classes at the library as often as possible, but those classes seemed to have dried up in the winter. I hope they come back for spring. I've always enjoyed writing, and I've enjoyed reading for as long as I can remember. I loved books when I had to have them read to me. For so many different reasons I have felt a deep loneliness, and many times I have felt things that I haven't been able to or even felt safe to express. But, when I come across a book, or even an article, and the author is expressing similar feelings as mine, or having similar experiences it just makes me feel validated and understood. I know that some of the issues I have dealt with affect other people, and maybe I can help. I remember when I was in the throes of my eating disorder, it was hard for me to really listen to any of the therapists I went to, because although they were educated, they hadn't ever experienced eating disorders themselves. So, I never felt any kind of connection, and it always just felt like they were giving me facts right out of a textbook. Very clinical. I find it hard to take advice from someone who has totally different experiences than you.
I don't know if anyone remembers that old Golden Girls show, but there is an episode where Rose writes a letter to Mikhail Gorbachev expressing her concerns over nuclear war. He is touched by the letter, and wants Rose to read it at a press conference. The only problem is he thinks the letter came from a little girl, not a senior citizen! I always think of that episode when I think of my own writing.
I've also learned that writing your own story can be healing. Sometimes I still can't believe that I have written about my adoption and all of that here, online of all things, but really it has made me feel better, not worse. I opened the door, and it won't close now, so I have no choice but to deal with my feelings.


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