So, day sixteen of my meditation challenge. Yesterday and today were really tough. Very hard time focusing, and very hard time fighting off negative thoughts. I've also been a little more emotional than usual, so I'm trying to work on my patience with myself. Since yesterday was so tough, I tried putting on positive affirmations to fight off negative thoughts last night as I fell asleep. This is the point where I would usually call it a day, and figure that meditation is just not for me. But if I did that I would be robbing myself. This kind of sums up my life so far. So many things I gave up on because I hit a roadblock. I've skipped writing in my journal for the last few days for whatever reason, but it will be interesting to look back on this challenge. It might be like one of my favorite genres of movie- the sappy movie! You know, the kind where there is one big overall lesson, but along the way many small life lessons were learned, and we all come out a better person. I always wanted my Hollywood ending, ha!
The book about blacking out that I'm reading is really hitting me hard in the feelings place. I feel a connection with the author, and so a lot of the stories and her feelings feel very familiar to me. It's is both comforting, and off putting at the same time. I don't talk a lot to people about my heavy drinking days, because no one has really ever seemed interested, and I'm not really proud of how much of my life has been spent in a drunken haze. So, this book is really bringing up stuff that I thought I had shoved wayyyy down. It's good though, dealing with is good, shoving is bad. Shoving stuff down is what first drove me to drink!
Anyway, I just wanted to give a meditation update. Still going, maybe not so strong, but still pushing ahead. I have visualized the life i want, and I want it bad! I was hoping to move up to ten minutes this week, but maybe that will be my goal for next week.
How's your week going?
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