Saturday, December 19, 2015

Trying To Get a Spark!

So  I've been reading my book and the pressure is on to finish it because I don't think I will be able to renew it since there was such a long waiting list. I think I have to buy this book because it isn't one I want to rush through. It's one that I want to sit with. It's hitting painfully close to home, so it's both comforting and uncomfortable for me to read. I guess I should mention the book, that might help! It's called Blackout- Remembering The Things I Drank To Forget written by Sarah Hepola. Considering that there were 150 names ahead of me on the waiting list for this book, I would say it's hitting home for a lot of people. This book is really helping me be more forgiving of myself. I have a lot of guilt for wasting so much of my life drinking beer. I feel guilt for abusing myself that way, and I feel ashamed of pretty much EVERY decision I made while drinking. And like the author, I have huge chunks of my life that I will never ever remember. To be honest, I probably would be horrified if I did remember. Since I've stopped drinking, I haven't really ever talked about my drinking days in detail. I mention my hard drinking past, but that's pretty much it. Most of the reason is no one ever asks about it, but also I feel shy to talk about a lot of it because of fear of judgment. I made many bad choices, and some of those bad choices include extreme bad choices in men, and bad decisions when it comes to sex. People say they don't judge, but most do. They don't judge as long as you say what they think you should say. Reading this book is inspiring me to want to talk more openly about my past, because maybe I could help, or bring healing to someone the way this boom is helping me. I feel like we need more sharing and less judgment in this world. Anyway, I've been thinking about the direction I want to take this second blog, since I spend very little time bitching about my ex, which is good. Maybe I'll give it a little face lift and direction for the new year.
I'm rearranging my living room today in hopes that I spark some creativity. I've been in a little bit of a slump. Hopefully this will shake out some cobwebs and inspire me for the New Year!
I can't recommend this book enough. Even if you've never had an issue with drinking, it's so well written, and it's about much more than just drinking.
Happy Saturday!

2 comments:

  1. I agree that sometimes the best thing to do is to talk about the "taboo" The more we talk about it, the more educated other people will be. I have little experience with drinking too much, no one I know drinks too much and blacks out, and do it consistently (at least that I am aware) So if one of my friends developed a drinking problem, I don't think I would know how to confront them or how to offer help.

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    1. Your very lucky! I think we can all learn from people's stories. Like you said, you might not know how to help someone with a drinking problem, but reading about someone else's troubles might help you if the situation ever arises in your life. Plus, talking about uncomfortable things makes other people feel better about their own thing, even if it's something different.

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