Things I'm Learning

Today is day twelve of my meditation challenge. I've been feeling really great, up until yesterday. I just got in a funk yesterday and I couldn't pull myself out of it. I didn't even have my usual morning cry, I wasn't feeling emotional or grumpy or anything. At some point in the later morning I just couldn't fight the funk. It was reminding me of the old days when depression would really take a hold of me. In the end, I think I was fighting off some kind of bug, and so that drained all of my energy. It was a scary feeling. I also did a shoulder opening yoga practice, and one of the poses was called camel, and the instructor said not to be surprised if a lot of emotion comes out. I've had that happen a lot with different hip opening postures, because they say we store our unwanted feelings in our hips. One yoga instructor said"think of your hips an an emotional junk drawer. I guess it makes sense, we hold tension in our neck and shoulders. Anyway, this whole listening to the body is really so interesting to me. To go from ignoring everything and just being full blown abusive to myself, to paying attention in camel pose is weird in a good way. All of those drinking and smoking years, I was doing yoga, and I'm sure it was doing some good, but not much because I was really just going through the motions.
Something I've really noticed is that even when I have a day where my mind will not simmer down, and I feel like I wasted the five minutes of meditation time, when I open my eyes I still feel refreshed. And I am noticing real improvements in my life. I am feeling like I'm gaining more patience, and I am seeing the brighter side of life, and I'm definitely feeling more and more gratitude. Everyone is different, so I can't say wow, everyone should meditate, it will change your life! I don't know if it would change everyone's life. But I can say if you have been curious about meditation, and have been intimidated, I say try it. Even if you're having a hard time focusing, just make yourself sit there with your eyes closed for at least the time of your meditation practice. I say if you are open to it, try it and be patient and consistent! It won't be much help if you try once and give up, and try again in six months. Trust me, been there done that. Like over and over.
Happy Saturday!