Positive Musings

Today is positive vibe Monday! Something I'm feeling very positive about is the fact that it is November, and it is still in the fifties, and sometimes sixties here in rainy Seattle! I wish I could say sunny Seattle, but you can't have everything, right? I'm also very happy with my decision to tackle this hill every day. It's so much more than the exercise. It's teaching me to stick to the commitment I made to myself. And I've let myself down way too many times in my life. It stops now. I remember years ago seeing an episode of Oprah where she said that we tend to stick to promises we make to other people, but when it comes to promises we make to ourselves, we're much more willing to break them. I don't know about you, but that is the solid truth for me.
I notice that I'm thinking clearer, and I'm learning that just being in your feelings won't kill you. You don't have to starve, binge/purge or drink them away. That doesn't do anything. The feelings don't go away, no matter how hard you shove them. This is probably obvious to most people. Deep down I've known too, but I just wasn't ready to handle my feelings. This is what people who can't afford therapy do. They either self medicate, or they find a hill.
Something I know about myself is that I sometimes put up with things that I would never find acceptable for someone I care about. It would drive me bonkers. I can think of one relationship in particular that I said to myself over and over "come on girl, be your own friend here." But something about the guy, or the relationship always kept me coming back. I'm not proud of this fact, but most of my relationships have been like that. But the one in particular I had moments of clarity that I chose to ignore, where as most of the others I was in full on denial. If you would have asked me at the time I would have told you I was in the most awesome relationship with the most amazing guy EVER!
I'm getting way off track from positive vibe Monday. I just feel overwhelmed with how great it feels to take care of yourself, and be your own cheerleader. I'm doing all of this on my own. I don't have a single person that I talk to about this goal of mine. The few casual friends I have aren't into healthy things, so it's just something I keep to myself. I've said it before, but not everyone has a support system, so you have to be that support for yourself. Life doesn't stop moving because we are in a funk.

This ugly looking cabinet thing was left by someone, and it's going to get painted today by yours truly. I have leftover eggplant paint from painting an accent wall in my apartment, and I'm going to see if it will work on this weird fake wood type of surface. I'm going to place it next to my kitchen and use it as extra cupboard space since my kitchen is TINY. Fingers crossed it turns out amazing. I blame all of this productive handling of things that annoy me on the fresh morning air I'm getting as I gasp for breath trudging up this hill! Hopefully there will be so much more to come!
Happy Monday!