Setbacks

I'm very disappointed in myself. The last day that I walked up the hill was either last Thursday, or Friday. Saturday I walked to a store to get kitty litter and such, so I just counted that as my "walk". But, the point of me walking this hill isn't so much about the exercise as it is making myself do something even when it's super tough. Honoring my commitments. Seattle has had an unusual week to week and a half. It's been getting down to like twenty eight degrees at night! I'm having a hard time dealing with the cold. I was prepared for the grey, constant drizzle of winter, fall, and spring in Seattle, but I thought I left the below zero temps behind me. I loathe the rain, but for whatever reason I can force myself to go do the hill, but the last day that I walked the hill it was so cold it hurt to breathe. I was miserable. I didn't feel the rush of good energy I usually feel when I got home. It was a bust. I told myself this weekend that Monday was the day that no matter what I was getting it together and getting back on track. Well, it didn't happen today, and it's not going to happen. It's still below freezing, and it's grey and gloomy. I'm feeling flashbacks to living in Erie. I looked at the weather, and according to the webz, starting tomorrow we're getting back to normal Seattle winter weather. Grey, rainy and forty to fifty degrees.
In the past, I would let a setback like this kind of make me give up. Or maybe just use the setback as an excuse to give up. But I'm not doing that this time. And I'm trying to not allow myself to verbally assault myself because of this setback. I started to bash myself earlier, and I made myself stop. It's okay to have setbacks. I think even the most accomplished, vibrant people have setbacks. But a setback isn't an excuse to just stop trying.
I'm glad that I'm not just using this blog as a place to vent about my ex, or exes. The day that I started it was a day fraught with emotion over "D", and I needed to figure some stuff out. I still do need to figure a lot of stuff out, but I'm glad it's evolved into so much more than crying over a guy. Not that I don't do that, but I feel like for once a lot of learning is happening on my part because I'm allowing myself to sit in  my feelings, not drink them away.
Look out hill, I'm not done with you yet!