It's Not Me, It's You.

                                           
This absolutely cracked me up. And if this actually existed, it would be AMAZING (except for the price) I would have been hitting that alert multiple times a day in my last relationship. One of our biggest problems was his aggressive disinterest in just about anything I had to say. He has no interest in politics, world events, environmental issues, really anything. You know how most people have a discussion after a movie or TV show that they really enjoyed? Not really happening with this guy. It really messed with me. I started questioning everything about myself. I started thinking that maybe I was the world's most boring person.
As a single person, I get that "oh poor lonely you" ALOT! But first of all, I crave and need to be alone most of the time, and second of all, it is way lonelier to be in an empty relationship. None of my past relationships have been perfect(obviously) but I always felt like I was somewhat interesting to my partner. Maybe they weren't interested in a detailed description of my lotion and potion routine, but we could talk for hours about other topics. The strangest thing about the way things turned out with D is that we were friends for many years before dating. Like not friendly acquaintances, but real friends. We would hang out for HOURS talking about nothing and everything.  He hung out with me at my drunkest, and trust me as a former bartender no one can go on and on and on for days like someone who is drunk! I never felt like I was boring to him. Maybe I was to drunk to notice the boredom in his eyes.
I think being really listened to is one of the best feelings in the world. Partially because it's a rare feeling anymore, not to be taken for granted. If you look around you on any give day, there are very few conversations with direct eye contact. We live in a multi-tasking time. I guess it's more someone really WANTING to listen that is so special. When you know someone is really into the conversation, that's just the best.
"D" used to swear he could play video games and be listening to what I was saying. Or perusing Reddit, or whatever. But yet if anything came up about any topic that was discussed while he was killing zombies, he had no recollection. But yet he will go to his grave believing that he can kill zombies and listen to someone talk about a non zombie killing subject.
I wasted a lot of time berating myself for being so boring, but I now realize that while I may not be the worlds most interesting person, how boring is he? How boring is someone who is so apathetic they don't even want to discuss politics, or world issues, doesn't read anything other than reddit, and who's only hobby is video games?

Cozy Sunday Morning

I've been reading The Four Agreements for awhile now, and the chapter I'm reading this morning is about not taking things personally. Not accepting other people's poison. I feel like I'm late to the party with this book, but better late than never.
Here's an excerpt from the chapter I am reading that really made me stop."When you feel good, everything around you is good. When everything around you is great, everything makes you happy. You are loving everything that is around you, because you are loving yourself. Because you are happy with your life. You are happy with the movie that you are producing, happy with your agreements with life. You are at peace, and you are happy. You live in that state of bliss where everything is so wonderful, and everything is so beautiful. In that state of bliss you are making love  all the time with everything you perceive." I feel brief moments of that kind of happiness, especially in the last few days, but my goal is to walk around in that bliss all the time!
But, back to the ex, his need to not only not listen to me, but to almost go out of his way to make it as obvious as possible is his problem. It says nothing about me, and much more about him.
If you haven't read this amazing book, you really should. It is the kind of book that you read, and re-read, and loan to someone, and it touches them, and then they loan it to someone, and you never see your original copy again, so you buy another. But you don't even care because it's so great that so many people are loving it! I found my copy on Amazon for a pretty decent price.
Happy Sunday!